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Transitioning from passive mourning to active remembering is key to building resilience after loss

Option B Journalism piece by Allison GilbertIf you’re lucky, like me, soon after your loved one dies, a swarm of friends will embrace you in all sorts of meaningful ways. They’ll pack the funeral home, attend the wake or shiva, and a few may even leave homemade meals wrapped in tin foil by your front door so you won’t have to cook for a while. Rituals surrounding loss tend to kick into gear automatically and I benefitted from being the passive recipient of support when each of my parents passed away. Yet my greatest fortune ultimately caused me the most pain…Continue Reading

Teaching Their Daughter About the Grandparents She Never Met

David Alan Basche and Alysia Reiner are a Hollywood power couple. You know Basche from the TV Land comedy, The Exes, and he’s starred in shows like The Starter Wife and Lipstick Jungle, and appeared in such films as United 93 and War of The Worlds. What you likely don’t know is that he lost his father when he was six and makes the conscious decision nearly every day to bring him up in conversation. Basche wants to make sure his daughter knows the grandfather she never met. More on his amazing wife Reiner in a bit.

For Basche, the key to keeping his father’s memory alive is a tiny hourglass he’s saved all these years, a cherished object from his childhood. Here’s how he explained the loss of his father and this sentimental object to me:

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Parenting Magazine: The Granny Gap

What happens when Grandma and Grandpa aren’t around by the time you have kids? Here’s how to introduce your children to their memory.

My mom and I had a ritual when I was young. After I was packed for school, I’d help her get ready for work. READ MORE

HuffPost: The Dangers of Having a Baby After 35 – What Your Doctor Won’t Tell You

If you are over 35, you’re probably aware of the increased risks of having a baby. Older women are more likely to have miscarriages, c-sections, suffer high blood pressure, and develop gestational diabetes. Your child is more likely to be born too early, not weigh enough, have chromosomal birth defects (most commonly Down syndrome), and other serious, potentially life-threatening conditions. Women are familiar with these hazards because their doctors talk about them routinely….Continue Reading

HuffPost: Being a Parentless Parent -The Effect on You, Your Children and Your Marriage

Both of my parents have passed away, and little has shaped the way I raise my children or affected the relationship I have with my husband and in-laws more than the fact that my mom and dad aren’t here to be grandparents to my children. I am a parentless parent.

Because women are having babies later and later, the number of parentless parents in America is skyrocketing….Continue Reading

HuffPost: Parentless Parents -Teaching My Daughter About the Grandfather She Never Knew

I took my eight-year-old daughter to the Museum of Modern Art in New York City yesterday, and I’m still in an awesome mood. The art was great, of course. She enjoyed looking at the Pollock’s, Picasso’s and Warhol’s. But the real takeaway was what she learned about my father, her grandfather, the one grandpa she never met.

My father went to museums as often as other dads might go to football games….Continue Reading

HuffPost: What if Your Children Don’t Have Grandparents?

This coming Sunday is Grandparents Day, and while you may be skeptical about the influence grandparents have on grandchildren, let me tell you their impact is enormous and measurable. And it’s because of that that I know my children are missing out on so much.

For years, experts have researched the influence of grandparents on the lives of grandchildren…Continue Reading